Its been almost a year.

And I've looked at my past posts and I see how much I've changed.
and how much I haven't.

He STILL disgusts me.
He still is trying to be the person that I am.
I know that deep down inside its not only selfishness, but jealousy.
Imitation is the best form of flattery.

I write alot of shit.
Half of it doesn't make sense.

But I'm back on this because I know nobody I know is reading my shit here. I'm just writing.
To write.

got nothing but time on our hanfs

single life XD

I'd like to think of my blogs as personal jinxes.
whenever i blog- things happen. maybe it's subconciously but whateverrr.

so start of february OFFICALLY starts a good independent, single, GOD - filled.
HAPPY life.


kk
twitter time.
=]

-trinuhh

"it'll be 'Iight' -----reunion."

I always thought I jinxed myself by becoming happy, in reality I don't jinx myself because I'm happy. I jinx myself because I think too hard and too negatively on life.
Recently i a had a revelation on my negativity and how often I hold grudges against others, and how I sometimes blame others for things that aren't their fault.

I rather not feel upset and angry at anyone... people prove themselves to either do what they should for you... or decide not to.

people decide to either let you down , or build you up.}
they decide to stand up for you or sit down and stare

Why be angry at anyone? We can only be angry at the things we could have controlled and the things we have power over. That ONE and only thing is ourselves. i believe we can write our own destiny but the book is already laid out. Be aware of yourself and be responsible for your actions. everything else anyone else does wont really matter. It'll be all right.

kind of a wooh-sahh moment.


haden't blogged in a MEAN while and decided to come back with a zen additude.
Ill be bitching again in a few.
=P

-trinuhh.


i missed wRiting!

the people. P1

I did a facebook thing...
and my most common word used was; PEOPLE

People are... something else.
People who are close to me often try to be in separate, defined categories , that remove them from the "people" section and include them somewhere more-- Exclusive.
places like
best friend
boy friend
asscoiates
"bestiesss"

whatever.

In this new " book " I have .
EVERYONE is "people."
I wont go and penetrate the levels of everyones fakeness, or define everyone's useless mindless consumption of drama.. but i will say this;;

JUST because you can read a bunch of pages of blogs on facebook.
or you see me in the hallway
or because you've seen my tweets
or known me for a few years
you do NOT know me.
you are just people until I say so.
Cuz lately everyone has been redefining themselves.

the category you think you can put yourself in isn't where you stand because
SOMETIMEISH-ness is beyond excessive.

[If i'm dramatic. then dont make a scene when your blowing mine. If I'm too mello ,, please be dramatic with your getting on your knees to blow mine.. ]


**if your offended your probably guilty.

Over time you realize that a BUNCH of friends ain't shit to survive in life

I'm ONLY seventeen, people realize this shit in their thirties.

I'm NOT in need for a shit load of friends that will talk about my curly hair tommorow.
I dont need a boyfriend that will love me one day and smut me out the next.
I just need me.
i have it.
If your here than be here and dont be offended.
If you dont feel that you give a shit about me
please.
do
me
the
KIND
SWEET
DIPLOMATIC
favor
and leave.

credit. all we know.

#deepdowninside crying is all i do.
#deepdowninside i know he doesnt give a fuck
#deepdowninside i know i shouldn't either
#deepdowninside hes my bad habit that im going cold turkey
#deepdowninside idc who judges me right now.
#deepdowninside wants to be forgiven bygod.
#deepdowninside shes ffeeling maxwell song "bad habits"
#deepdowninside shes speechless but still talks.
#deepdowninside i just want to k just LIVE
#deepdowninside i just want to have my memory wiped CLEAN of emotions.
#deepdowninside i fucking hate and love maxwell and thinks shes too fucking emotional
#deepdowninside catherina keyboard is OD.
#deepdowninside wishes .. just wishes.
#deepdowninside i know people think negatively instead of taking things for what they are
#deepdowninside your so hateful sometimes throwing punches @ life.


- too emotional.
-too deep

you can blow it

haven't blogged in aminute. needed to let it out a little.

well it's nice to meet you sir....

disclaimer;
"your not a judge but if your gonna judge me..." leave me a comment.
=]

location; long island..


It's that feeling in your stomach when you want it so bad..
-so you push and you push and p u s h and fight so hard with your eyes closed.... open them and see that your fighting yourself ... or fighting someone who isn't fighting with you. &&& you know that your fighting for something you want, but you know what you want isn't going to happen because it ISN'T meant to be.... The best part is when you realize it isn't anyone's fault. time inhabits change. Sometimes the change is good for personal growth.... and not growth for anything else.

What you try to keep fresh doesn't always stay that way....somethings no matter what you do just go away..and stay away. & no matter what after-affect thought you may have to reconcile most likely means nothing.. because it's GONE.

-- don't be mistaken
HAPPINESS isn't gone. Just that one possible cause of it is. You can't push anything that's trying to fall the opposite direction. It's a "circle I mean cycle.."
but nothing should ever be seen as a waste of time. any moment you've spent should be a moment you should cherish an experience to love... and a moment to remember.

personal ode. 14 days.
without gettinng to speccific
on what i lost before i even really gained it
i wish i knew what it looked like.
who it looked like.