today.-- my wishlist.

today.well i don't lnow about today seeing as it's 1:00 in the morning.
but yesterday had its good points.

-i got to see the boy i love
-chilled with his fambam for a little.
-went by tiana and carlton

but as usual theres something-- missing.
and i dont know what. i feel that in every aspect of my life its.. messed up and it bothers me.

i kind of wish my boyfriends parents saw me for how i felt about HIM rather than judge me by my apperance. OR by what i don't have, OR what i can or cannot provide in the future.. ( that shouldn't even be the focus because its highschool. ) or how book smart i APPEAR.. i wish they saw my boyfriend as someone who could think for himself, rather than someone who's brainwashed. i wish that they treated him like he was seventeen and not seven. i wish they respected opinionated people, and saw it as intelleigence ...instead of preferring conformit.

i wish i didnt have to move away. i wish i didn't have drama in school. i wish that people who need a life would stop talking about me in others places except my face.
i wish that people who claimed to be my friends would stand up for me instead of staying quiet.


i wish i could read minds.


i wish that hypocritical people WOULD STOP calling other people hypocritical

i wish that immature people would stop calling other people immature.

i wish that i could be a fordmodel awihtoutshaving my head like amber rose.

and the list goes onn....

[ to be continued

rant. [ parents ]

I really cannot deal with this bullshit. living this bullshit life, with bullshit parents.
Just because Im se'vnenteen does not mean I should have to feel on my own.
Tell me the reson why I cannot live a regular life, have regular money like regular people this really is bullshit.
No ONE should complain about my work ethic , my grades, my attitude, NONE of it.. when they do not show an example at all of ANYTHING. at ALL.
nothing that i can imitate.

and JUST because noone is selling drugs doesn't mean that i shouldn't complain.
i am SICK and tired...of bieng sick and tired..

i don't need anything thats HALFWAY
I do not NEED a HALF -WAY parent.
It's all or nothing.
and no one really understands how lonely it is.
nobody.

I'm so tired of this bullshit.
and i want out.

not existing is easy.

It's about 9:39 in th e mornng it has occured to me that not many people care about me..
that hurts like a bitch..

my birthday is tommorow and iI'm noticing that this has beeen a yet again UNHAPPY year. I'm not trying to sound ungrateful o r anything bu life is really sucking right now.
Ï've never been god enough for anything or anyone.. and realizing that doesn't make anything seem like its going to get get better .. it just makes me feel like a big pile of shit.
thats all.


i thought i was moving..
but im b not even smart enough for that to take place...
smh
i really hate lifee.

you cant get mad at the hypeman

Okay so, one o'çlock in the morning
i get off the phone with the most amazing person...



and we talked about a whole shit load of shit.



ANAlYZATION of the end of my banging buisness..

so after that i really listened some more and thought.
and thought and thought and i said .. HOLYYY -ISHH. she's so right.
and then she hits me with another one.

"trina you cant be mad at a hype man... someone started it but the hype man has to go harder than everyone else."

and YOU KNOW how far i go with analogies. i'm on tour and everyoe is getting bored. my WONDERFUL alter egoo-- comes with an act that brings the audience to a silencee.. the next artist ha s to follow my act with something JUST as good. something to counter my performance.. the hypeman picks a side... and doess what it does best..
SMELL THE HYPE.
FEEL THE HYPE.
BE THe hYPEMAn.





taking the advice of one of the wisest people i know..'
im gonna continue bieng me.. and just laugh at the hypeman and.. i mean it goes real far. i'm not mad at it..do what you have to do.. i mean just LOOK at tony yayo. hes AMAZING.
-.-
i mean when you compare him to jay z.
well theres no comparison.

but kudos.
hypemann.

=]



personal messagee.
please do not assume and then run with yur assumptions.. ask.
if you dnt wanna ask.. then stfu.


-trinuhh

9 letters

the worst thing a person can do is care about someone that cares about nothing but themselves.
the second worst thing you can do is fear anything but god.

i fear nothing... but god. ever since today
thats the best way to be..
cuz' vindication is key...

who really wants to be stuck living in world bieng at a job or learning at school bieng scared of what self absorbed two-faced idiots are going to say about you. the worst my mistake i made was bieng luke warm,..
noone likes a shower thats hot and cold..
thats how you get sick..

i was sick..
i found my cure

not giving a shit..
--NOT saying i dont give a shit and really give a shit.
ACTUALLY NOT GIVING A SHIT.

--personal message.
get over it. get over yourself. if you never cared, or never will or never did.. please stop bieng a two year old damien child and talking shit like a girl about SOMEONE YOU DONT CARE ABOUT.

girls talk shit.
not boys.
there not supposed to.

believe everything or nothing you want, just dont come to me about it. i honestly dont care . i dont care about you anymore either... funny thing is, i've finally.. learned not to chase after assholes trying to make them care. if you were born a dipshit thats how you will live yourlife .. being a dipshit. a BIPOLAR dipshit.

I would honestly prefer if you just left me and whatever's left of my pretty little life alone.. you know ..? and live your happy gossiip filled life.

stop taking the time out to fic your aim and myspace statuses to make jokes... i'm done caring about you.. so maybe you should join the movement.


--trinuhh

current location.. Atlanta, GA

To be honest, I'm pretty much loving it here.
As MUCH as I miss a person or two..I would love to stay here and be here.
my BEsT friend who I grew up with the CLOSEST thing to blood to me lives here...and it would be great if all i was, a drive away.

I wanna move..
Move away from new york.
It's overrated... and the fake-ass people and the people who disguse there curiosity and nosi-ness as caring about me. i mean no place is problem-free. And I DO have a habit of trying to run away from my problems.. but i've madr a dscision

i'm going to keep running.'
so i dont have to deal.
i shouldnt have too.
i can be pretty atlhetic.

-- kinda HAD to write today almost has been three days or so.
writing and running.
its the best

kay gonna go watch a movie
wth my husband shiloh buff.